Fine-Tuned Pharmacare Pitch

The Privy Council in confidential pre-election focus groups polled Canadians on a catchier name for pharmacare, according to Access To Information records. Cabinet has set no deadline to implement a proposal by its own advisory panel to enact a universal $15.3 billion-a year prescription drug plan: "'Universal pharmacare program’ sounds made up."

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Firing For Rudeness Upheld

The Federal Court of Appeal has upheld the firing of a curt human resources manager cited for rude emails. Coworkers complained the federal employee was needlessly abrasive: "I can be honest in a not so nice way."

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Cooler Summer Than 1950s

The Department of Environment in a climate change bulletin said this past summer was cooler in much of the country than in the 1950s. Data followed election claims the planet was "burning".

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Gov’t Eyes Flood Buyouts

The Department of Natural Resources yesterday said it will look at the viability of paying Canadian homeowners to move off flood plains. A million waterfront homes nationwide are rated at high risk of flooding, according to the Insurance Bureau of Canada: "We cannot move a million homes."

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Internment Camps For 8,435

The military in newly-declassified Cold War files drafted plans to round up more than 8,000 suspected Communists and keep them under armed guard at barbed wire camps. In Calgary, subversives were to be housed in a downtown office building. A camp in Nanaimo was to be have eight-foot fences: 'Troops assigned to guard Communists should know how to deal with inquisitive civilians.'

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Atheists Lose In Fed Court

Atheism is not a bona fide belief for charitable purposes, says the Federal Court of Appeal. Judges upheld the Canada Revenue Agency’s refusal to grant religious charity status to a small congregation of atheists in the hamlet of McDonald’s Corners, Ont.: "Registration is a privilege, not a right."

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Couldn’t Run Grant Program

Auditors have faulted Library and Archives Canada for slipshod management of a grant program intended to support community groups. Managers failed to save postmarks to prove applicants met filing deadlines, while other records were so haphazard it was impossible to know why some applicants received grants and others did not: "Staff did not keep the envelopes."

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Cost Of Payroll Fix Unknown

The Treasury Board yesterday said it does not know the full multi-billion dollar cost of a failed Phoenix software program to upgrade payroll services for federal employees. Costs to date are $2.6 billion but don’t include compensation for employees shortchanged on cheques: "We saw how that didn't work."

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Stop Citing “Golden Years”

Federal agencies should drop references to “golden years” when speaking to pensioners, says in-house research by the Department of Social Development. Seniors complained the term is patronizing: "There is nothing golden about getting older."

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OK’d $250K For Stage Plays

The Department of Canadian Heritage budgeted a quarter-million dollars to commission stage plays observing 1969 Criminal Code amendments on homosexuality, according to Access To Information records. “The total budget for this project is potentially substantial,” wrote staff.

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Happy Kids Sell Foreign Aid

The Department of Foreign Affairs in pre-election research paid pollsters $78,964 to test voters’ response to images promoting foreign aid. Photos of laughing children were most popular: "Simple information should be used."

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Feds Hid 60% Over-Spending

The Department of Canadian Heritage went sixty percent over-budget on Flag Day observances then hid actual spending from taxpayers. Expenses for the 2015 anniversary of the Maple Leaf flag were buried in 3,773 pages of Access To Information records withheld by the department for four years. Managers did not comment: "A significant portion of what was included under the events actually has nothing to do with the events."

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Cusswords Not Contempt

The Federal Court has dismissed a contempt charge against a Canadian Union of Public Employees advisor for cussing an employer. Profanity is not a personal attack per se, said the Court: 'It is a slang expression used to tell someone where to go.'

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Forgot To Lock The Doors

Saskatchewan’s privacy commissioner has faulted a public agency for leaving its office doors propped open overnight in the Town of Melfort, population 6,000. The place was so quiet nothing was stolen: "Locked offices should be required."

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Sunday Poem: “The Game”

Poet Shai Ben-Shalom, an Israeli-born biologist, examines current events in the Blacklock’s tradition each and every Sunday: “Former cabinet minister Peter MacKay says Andrew Scheer missed an open net…”