Hmm, ‘Leather Cleaner’

Health Canada is being sued over its seizure of thousands of bottles of liquid aphrodisiac sold as "leather cleaner". A Delta, B.C. company that ranks itself one of the largest sex toy distributors in the country is contesting a department ruling that its liquid alkyl nitrite for fetishists violates the Food & Drugs Act: "The applicant is suffering economic loss."

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Tuition To Rise 13%

National tuition costs will rise an average 13% by 2016 with mandatory fees comprising a larger portion of university revenues in every province, says an advocacy group. Researchers calculated campus fees have more than quadrupled since 1992: "We are seeing a decline in universality."

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“Thanks, Jim”

The Department of Finance will reap a multi-billion dollar surplus in unemployment insurance premiums, according to new data. The little-noticed windfall forecast was preceded by Finance Minister Jim Flaherty’s promise to freeze premiums: "They're essentially locking in a substantial tax grab."

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Figuring The Averages

An investment company unhappy with news of a real estate bubble has trademarked a slogan ridiculing reporters’ use of market averaging. The application by the Alberta-based firm, which says it can double investors' money, follows a Department of Finance caution on the condo market: "Averaging is meaningless."

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Feds To Ease Hemp Rules

Health Canada proposes the biggest deregulation in 15 years in the hemp trade, restricted for decades as drug trafficking. The department served notice of hearings into 1998 rules that tightly restrict industrial growers: "We're not asking for full deregulation."

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“A Very Serious Threat”

Regulators warn the spread of a tree-killing Asian beetle appears inevitable despite a widening quarantine. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency confirmed the emerald ash borer, blamed for $809 million in damage to urban forests, has spread to 34 Ontario counties and up the St. Lawrence valley into Québec: "Borers pose a very serious threat."

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“Sorry” For Access Breach

A federal agency has apologized for violating the Access to Information Act. The Canada-Nova Scotia Offshore Petroleum Board admitted to contravening the law when it told a complainant all Access requests must be vetted by legal counsel: "We got a little apology."

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‘Who made this decision?’

The Department of Foreign Affairs is shopping for new luxury bulletproof SUVs for its worldwide fleet. The department is taking bids for armoured Toyota Land Cruisers that sell for $78,000 apiece. Authorities declined Blacklock's interview request.

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Shhh: A New Gov’t Patent

The Department of National Defence is refusing comment on a newly-detailed patent for robo-sub technology. Drawings just released depict a new homing system providing for longer range of unmanned submarines that prowl Arctic waters: "We don't know of any other system with its capabilities."

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You Might Call It Irony

Telecom giant Telus Corp. has learned to look up the fine print of federal regulations. The company appeared to misread its contracts in serving required notice of a change in service: "It just made sense."

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‘No Farm Debt Bubble’

One of the nation’s largest lenders, Farm Credit Canada, forecasts that write-offs of bad loans will nearly double in value this year. But the Crown agency assured there is no farm credit bubble. Agricultural borrowing has increased every year since 1995: "There is nothing wild and crazy going on here."

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1934 Bank Law In Court

Critics of the Bank of Canada have a date for an appeal in a lawsuit seeking interest-free municipal loans under a 1934 law. Opponents argue the central bank and Department of Finance have deliberately quashed no-interest financing: "We will take this to the Supreme Court if we have to."

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Googling “Help Wanted”

New research suggests economists track Google terms as a bellwether on financial trends. A former Bank of Canada researcher theorizes that trending keywords and search phrases may predict the next recession in real time: "We need data we can follow on a high-frequency basis."

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Missing From The Menu

The environmental impact of food production is secondary to producers and consumers alike, according to research by the Conference Board of Canada. Surveys show Canadians care more about costs and sales than the eco-impact of the food system: "There are gaps everywhere."

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Eye On Anti-Trust Ruling

Watchful growers say they’ll “keep an eye” on the impact of an anti-trust ruling in the billion-dollar agricultural retail trade. The deal gives multinational Agrium Inc. a 50 percent market share nationwide.

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