They’re Still Out There

A long-anticipated parliamentary report on invasive species in the Great Lakes is being panned as a compilation of recycled recommendations to stem the spread of Asian Carp. Experts fear the species could devastate the lakes ecosystem. “The U.S. does a lot more domestically than Canada,” said one analyst

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Pipelines Not Understood, MPs Told

Citing “misinformation” and “misunderstanding” on climate change, pipeline operators have appealed to Parliament for recognition of the “backbone of transport of energy.” One Alberta executive told MPs, “There is no hidden agenda.” The hearing followed testimony by a labour group that questioned the “army of lobbyists” pressing for the Keystone XL project.

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“It Was Just A…Mistake”

Telecom giant Cogeco has lost a bid to skip payments on its contributions to Canadian programming. “It was just a procedural mistake,” said a Cogeco executive. Under federal regulations, companies are required to devote five percent of annual gross revenues to made-in-Canada shows.

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“Why The Cone Of Silence?”

The federal tax collector, Canada Revenue Agency, is refusing to name 44 people convicted of offshore tax evasion, though it routinely publishes the names and hometowns of domestic tax cheats. “Why the cone of silence?” said Senator Percy Downe. “What is so special about those 44?”

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½ Kilo Of Self-Regulation

The Department of Agriculture is repealing decades-old regulations on the preparation of meats, fish and eggs amid concerns for consumers. Food inspectors say they will leave it to industry to comply with safety rules. The repeal will save producers and manufacturers $1.2 million a year.

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Farewell Old Card

The iconic Social Insurance Number card, the white plastic memento that marked passage to adulthood for generations of Canadians, will soon be a memory. The Department of Human Resources served formal notice, after 50 years of production, no new cards will be issued by the end of the fiscal year.

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Wanted — Plumbers

The Department of Immigration has set new restrictions on PhD students but will accept three times as many machinists, electricians and plumbers. And the department is waiving quotas on immigrants already hired by Canadian companies. The move “puts employers much more in the driver’s seat,” noted an economist.

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‘Not My Department’

Protests over poor lobster prices hit Parliament as the Minister of Fisheries insisted processors’ rates are not his department. “It’s not the responsibility of the Department of Fisheries and Oceans to set the pricing,” Keith Ashfield told the Commons. Lawmakers are awaiting a Senate study on the state of the billion-dollar export industry.

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No “Sunshine List” Here

Government amendments to a Conservative bill will bar the “Sunshine List” disclosure of many six-figure salaries paid to federal employees. The proposed changes are “bucking the trend towards greater transparency,” the bill’s author, MP Brent Rathgeber, said in an interview.

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100% Cut To Cold War Safety Fund

Budget cuts have led Canada to quit its 20-year membership in a group assigned to curb the spread of terrorist weapons. The Department of Foreign Affairs confirmed it’s withdrawing from non-proliferation centres in the former U.S.S.R., the first country to do so.

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Census Down 25 Points

Canadians’ participation in the national census is down 25 points amid concerns the results are compromised. Statistics Canada reported voluntary participation in its lengthy National Household Survey drew a response rate of 69 percent, compared to 94 percent compliance when the questionnaire was mandatory for selected families.

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A Brave Man Remembered

A British Columbian who became the only Commonwealth veteran to win a Victoria Cross while an MP will be honoured today at Parliament. Cy Peck, a Prince Rupert salmon broker, won the VC while serving as MP for Skeena in 1918. “He was not a man who sought recognition,” his son told Blacklock’s.

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“Paramilitary” Bill Okayed

A contentious RCMP bill dubbed a “paramilitary” measure has cleared a Senate committee. Lawmakers defeated amendments to curb the RCMP commissioner’s powers to fire or suspend members without appeal. “There is a lack of fairness here,” said a senator.

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Tourism Commission Axes U.S. Advertising

The Canadian Tourism Commission confirms it has eliminated all general advertising in the U.S. in the wake of budget cuts. The agency is also suspending its yearly evaluations of the marketing campaigns it still runs overseas. “There are a lot of people outspending us,” the CEO told Blacklock’s, “so we have to outsmart them.”

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