We wish you a happy New Year. Blacklock’s pauses for our annual holiday observance and will return January 4 — The Editor

The Department of Finance yesterday said it’s hiring auditors to complete an “independent financial analysis” of the taxpayer-owned Trans Mountain Pipeline, but will never make results public. The department budgeted $17.7 billion to buy and expand the oil pipeline from Edmonton to Burnaby, B.C.: “Costs tend to go up.”

The Canada Revenue Agency in an Access To Information document rated itself “part of the engine” that drives the country. “We make Canada better,” management wrote in a contest application: “We contribute to the quality of life in Canada.”

A taxpayer-funded cellphone sales company in Kenya is the target of complaints to stock regulators. Executives including the Canadian CEO Jesse Moore are accused of alleged self-dealing in shares. A federal agency bought $15.4 million worth of stock in the company, M-Kopa Holdings Ltd. of Nairobi: “The Securities and Exchange Commission neither confirms nor denies the existence of an investigation.”

Fifteen percent of marijuana smokers grow plants at home, says Department of Health research. Critics of legalization had warned of endless legal fights involving insurers, condo boards and landlords under a 2018 bill that permitted home cultivation of cannabis plants: “How many problems does it create?”

Canadians must not leave the country, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said yesterday. Cabinet earlier cautioned anyone holidaying abroad shouldn’t expect federal aid to return home in case of pandemic lockdowns: “This is not the time for a vacation abroad.”

The Canada Revenue Agency in Access To Information documents calls tax avoidance “unethical.” Managers recommended publicity campaigns avoid images of luxury cars or threats of jail, and instead ‘aim at the reputation’ of wealthy Canadians with offshore accounts: “A little bit of fear may be good.”

Early federal pandemic test programs were so haphazard the Public Health Agency proposed to check municipal sewage to track the spread of Covid-19. Internal memos show staff later dropped the idea as pointless: “Who knows how many people are getting sick?”

Free lunches for MPs in the House of Commons lobby cost $891 a day, according to first-ever disclosed accounts. The Office of the Speaker called it a traditional courtesy for MPs attending debates: “I mean, let’s really talk about saving taxpayers’ dollars.”

Eight companies cited for breach of migrant labour regulations received federal wage subsidies, according to records. The eight are among 368,000 firms listed by the Canada Revenue Agency as receiving a portion of payroll grants that total $54 billion to date: “We didn’t want to judge.”

A Québec City mailman fired for failing to finish his route after a blizzard has won his job back. A Canada Labour Code arbitrator noted the snowfall was unusually heavy: “You are asking me to step over a snow bank?”

A Kenyan door to door sales company that received millions in taxpayer funding operates outside Canada’s own consumer protection laws. The federal agency FinDev Canada that bought shares in the firm declined comment on evidence M-Kopa Holdings Ltd. charges interest that exceed usury rates: “You’ve got to wonder, what the hell is the Government of Canada doing?”

The Canadian Taxpayers Federation yesterday said it needs a new debt clock after federal debts surpassed a trillion for the first time since Confederation. “This one doesn’t have enough digits,” said Aaron Wudrick, federal director.

The Department of Environment yesterday said it will finally compile old weather data for an accurate “historical database” on climate change. The department in 2019 omitted a century’s worth of data in claiming Canadian weather was unusually extreme: ‘References to weather are contained in journals and diaries of early settlers.’