Guard The Press At Gunpoint

Commons Speaker Anthony Rota offered reporters armed guards at taxpayers’ expense after the Parliamentary Press Gallery complained it was troubled by Freedom Convoy truck drivers. Parliament Hill guards armed with federal-issue handguns were available to keep reporters safe, said Rota: “I have followed up with the Sergeant-at-Arms.”

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Say Cenotaph Draws Vandals

The National War Memorial has attracted numerous vandals in the past five years, the Commons veterans affairs committee was told last night. A police investigation remains underway for a mystery woman in a parka who jumped on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier: “It’s very emotional to see.”

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Hike Immigration Quota 7%

Canada must raise immigration quotas again this year to help employers fill labour shortages, Immigration Minister Sean Fraser said yesterday. The nation’s jobless currently number more than 1.3 million: “Get workers here to fill those jobs where business owners can’t find Canadians.”

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Non-Essential Travel Is Okay

Cabinet yesterday said a blanket recommendation against non-essential travel will be lifted February 28 after 705 days. “We are easing our current border measures,” said Health Minister Jean-Yves Duclos: “The government will no longer recommend Canadians avoid travel for non-essential purposes.”

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Claim Threat To Nt’l Security

Cabinet yesterday claimed Freedom Convoy truckers opposed to vaccine mandates pose a threat to national security. Demonstrators in the 19th day of a protest outside Parliament were threatened with jail and seizure of cash and vehicles: “What we are facing today is a threat to our democratic institutions.”

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Envoys Embarrassed Canada

Canadian diplomats embarrassed the nation by abruptly fleeing Afghanistan, MPs were told last night. The Department of Foreign Affairs has not yet explained why diplomats fled Kabul though Canadian citizens remained trapped under Taliban control: “All of a sudden, boom, they were gone.”

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No Equity Tax Ever: Minister

Cabinet is not even thinking of taxing Canadians’ home equity, Housing Minister Ahmed Hussen said yesterday. The repeated pledge follows the January 5 release of a CMHC-funded study proposing a $6 billion-a year equity tax on homeowners: “This is not under consideration by our government.”

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Impact Of 1% Tax Unknown

The Department of Finance yesterday said it is unsure of the impact of a first-time federal equity tax on foreign non-resident buyers in real estate. The tax to take effect this year would punish scofflaws with $5,000 fines and surcharges: “Surely they are going to reciprocate very quickly in taxing Canadians who own property in the United States.”

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Polls Arctic On Extreme Heat

Federal climate researchers spent more than $69,000 surveying Arctic residents on whether they were prepared for global warming. Respondents said they looked forward to it: “A few also felt concern that climate change was overblown and perhaps part of a historic warming period.”

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MPs Veto Recovery Timetable

The Commons yesterday by a 185 to 151 vote rejected a motion compelling cabinet to table a pandemic recovery plan by month’s end. Conservatives sponsored the proposal for a timetable to lift Covid regulations: “Canadians have had enough particularly with the yo-yoing on some measures.”

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Public Unhappy With Cabinet

The Privy Council Office in confidential research found Canadians increasingly unhappy with cabinet’s pandemic management including “absence of a concrete reopening plan.” The in-house polling report came weeks after the September 20 election that saw Liberals regain office with 32.6 percent of the vote, a record low: “Some felt considerations other than the best interests of the country were increasingly playing a role.”

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Kind Senator Cursed Protest

Now-retired Senator James Munson (Ont.) tomorrow is to lead national observance of “Kindness Week” after calling Freedom Convoy truckers racists and hostage takers. Munson, a former Liberal press aide, sponsored An Act Respecting Kindness Week to “encourage values such as empathy.”

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