Shhh: A New Gov’t Patent

The Department of National Defence is refusing comment on a newly-detailed patent for robo-sub technology. Drawings just released depict a new homing system providing for longer range of unmanned submarines that prowl Arctic waters: “We don’t know of any other system with its capabilities.”

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‘No Farm Debt Bubble’

One of the nation’s largest lenders, Farm Credit Canada, forecasts that write-offs of bad loans will nearly double in value this year. But the Crown agency assured there is no farm credit bubble. Agricultural borrowing has increased every year since 1995: “There is nothing wild and crazy going on here.”

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1934 Bank Law In Court

Critics of the Bank of Canada have a date for an appeal in a lawsuit seeking interest-free municipal loans under a 1934 law. Opponents argue the central bank and Department of Finance have deliberately quashed no-interest financing: “We will take this to the Supreme Court if we have to.”

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Googling “Help Wanted”

New research suggests economists track Google terms as a bellwether on financial trends. A former Bank of Canada researcher theorizes that trending keywords and search phrases may predict the next recession in real time: “We need data we can follow on a high-frequency basis.”

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Missing From The Menu

The environmental impact of food production is secondary to producers and consumers alike, according to research by the Conference Board of Canada. Surveys show Canadians care more about costs and sales than the eco-impact of the food system: “There are gaps everywhere.”

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Eat Generic?

The Department of Public Works is urging that federal agencies use generic terms, not brand-name labels, when contracting millions of dollars’ worth of food and drink. The government buys more than $149 million worth of groceries annually. No authority would agree to an interview on the National Food & Beverage Procurement Strategy.

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Electronics Tax To Be Lifted: Lobbyist

Importers anticipate the Department of Finance will ensure complete repeal of a $16 million border tax on TV monitors and other electronic goods. A lobbyist for the nation’s largest electronics firms and retailers said the dispute will be resolved this autumn: “We think we have persuaded the government of the unfairness.”

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Police Notes Ruled Private

Police notebooks are exempt from public scrutiny following the Supreme Court’s dismissal in the case of a Toronto man involved in a subway scuffle. The complaint involved allegations of assault at a train station on Valentine’s Day 2003: “I find it unusual that a case like this would go to the Supreme Court.”

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Dust Bowls In The Forecast

Scientists warn of hotter, dryer summers in whole regions of the Prairies. Research by the University of Alberta anticipates “drier and drier” conditions as rising temperatures speed evaporation of what rainfall does occur: “It’s basic physics.”

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I Like Me

The Department of Finance is giving itself high marks for accounting though it’s missed its own deadline to balance the budget three times. Deputy Finance Minister Michael Horgan, in a memo marked “SECRET”, praised the treasury’s forecasting prowess despite overestimating revenues in three of the past five years.

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Feds Probe Union Benefits

Cabinet’s Treasury Board is examining how much public servants earn compared to workers in the private sector. The board confirmed it is budgeting up to $1.77 million for a series of comparative studies on pay and benefits: “They can commission whatever studies they want.”

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80% Cheaper In Iceland

Telecom regulators are reviewing rates and terms Canadians face for wireless roaming fees, ranked among the highest in the industrialized world. Canadians pay three times the OECD average: “‘I went to the U.S. and Europe and now have a bill for $4000.'”

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