Health Canada is hiring tutors to teach staff to master English. The department did not disclose the number of employees who cannot carry on an English conversation: “Most federal employees are already English speakers.”
$30,000 Settles Stork Lawsuit
A federal judge has awarded a Canadian firm $30,000 in damages for infringement of its stork-and-baby trademark. The ruling ends a six-year feud between rival lawn sign companies: “I am conscious that they are not unique in their association of an image of a stork.”
Gov’t Tracks Toxic Exposure
New Statistics Canada data confirm Canadians remain exposed to lead, arsenic and other toxins, but at levels rated safe by the Department of Health. Staff said it would be premature to draw conclusions on long-term trends in human biomonitoring: “They’re still out there.”
Healer Paid $55,000 A Month
A cabinet-appointed Indigenous healer is being paid $55,000 a month to speak with former Indian Residential School students. The contract is nearly double the salary paid the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court: ‘I have signed a contract to deliver some programming as well as community visits.’
CRTC Overcharged Biz 20%
The CRTC turned a 20 percent profit on the sale its national Do Not Call List to telemarketers last year. The federal regulator would not say if it will lower fees: “It’s essentially functioning as a loan to the CRTC.”
$6M Profiling Claim At CBSA
The Canada Border Services Agency faces a $6 million racial profiling lawsuit by a former employee. The staffer in a Federal Court application accused managers of discrimination and nepotism: “When I needed somebody to help me there was nobody, so go to hell.”
Anti-Piracy Record Is Weak
Federal prosecutors confirm they did not open a single new piracy case last year though copyright and trademark counterfeiting is estimated in the billions. One senator described the track record as inexplicable: “Are they looking in the right places?”
Debate Was Sharp, Not Illegal
A federal tribunal says sharp comments in the House of Commons are no cause for human rights complaints. The ruling came in the case of an MP accused of hurtful remarks in debate: “Freedom of speech is not confined to popular points of view.”
Feds Cite Census Complaints
Statistics Canada has released a catalogue of public complaints against some of its 25,000 Census enumerators. Records detail home visits that “did not go well”, including allegations part-time staff drove across lawns and threatened householders with fines or jail time: “I’m from the Census and I can stay if I want.”
Gov’t Rated A Poor Landlord
Taxpayers face a multi-million dollar bill after a federal landlord yesterday was cited by auditors for failing to maintain properties, including the Prime Minister’s home. The National Capital Commission would not disclose the cost of needed repairs: “I can’t give you a total number.”
Senate In Court Over Records
The Senate is in Federal Court to block disclosure of minutes of confidential meetings sought by an ex-employee. The former Senate human resources director, Darshan Singh, was fired in 2015: “Disclosure would constitute a breach of parliamentary privilege.”
Didn’t Wait For Bill To Pass
The Department of Canadian Heritage ordered up recordings of a rewritten O Canada six months ago though a bill to change the lyrics never passed Parliament. Staff yesterday did not comment: “New recordings of the Canadian national anthem are required in anticipation.”
Feds Plot B.C. Quake Scenario
Department of Public Safety planners say a major quake in British Columbia could close ports and airfields, destroy dams, roads and railways and lead to food shortages. Staff in Access To Information documents plotted scenarios involving a major quake not seen on the Pacific coast since 1964: “An earthquake event in western Canada could result in numerous casualties and damage to hospitals.”
Face Lawsuit On Fisheries Act
Fisheries Minister Dominic LeBlanc is named in a federal lawsuit by a Québec Indigenous group over protection of fishing grounds. An attorney who filed the case said it is raises crucial questions on Fisheries Act enforcement: “There is a principle here.”
E.I. Self-Service Doesn’t Work
The Department of Social Development plans continuous polling of job seekers after a study found its Employment Insurance website is so convoluted, 1 in 4 had trouble filing a claim. Staff called the exercise a client experience survey: “Smooth movement is inhibited.”



