Sesquicentennial Up For Sale

Parks Canada is seeking corporate sponsors for Canada 150 celebrations after complaining cabinet failed to provide funding for public programs. The agency earlier proposed asking oil and chemical companies to sponsor facilities at national parks: “Be innovative”.

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Senators Push On Aqua Act

A Senate committee seeks to reopen aquaculture hearings to press cabinet for a bill to federalize licensing of fish farms. The chair of the fisheries committee has blamed current regulations for declining industry revenues: “The Act must legitimize the aquaculture industry”.

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Wanted: Chief Science Officer

A new bill would see Parliament appoint a chief science officer following elimination of a post for a cabinet advisor in 2008. The bill’s sponsor said the new appointee, similar to an officer of the U.K. Parliament, should have full staff and a $3 million annual budget: “It’s a good investment”.

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Biggest Census Yet On Health

The new 2016 census will include the most detailed questionnaire to date on aging Canada’s disabilities and mental health. Canadians over 65 now comprise 15 percent of the population: ‘It’ll paint a better picture of what is going on in Canadian society’.

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Animal Test Ban Bill To Raise “Consciousness”, Senate Told

Animal test bans in the cosmetics industry would promote “social consciousness”, the Senate has been told. Conservative senators are attempting to ban manufacturers’ use of animal test data, noting most research is done outside the country: “Testing cosmetics on animals is known as the ugly face of the beauty industry”.

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Shippers’ Fee Complaint Fails

A bid to block steep hikes in Maritime shippers’ pilotage fees has failed at the Canadian Transportation Agency. Regulators said they did not have sufficient information to investigate a complaint of excessive charges by the Atlantic Pilotage Authority: “It’s a juggling act”.

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Bill Abolishes “Hidden” Debt

Senators are again attempting to repeal a little-noticed Conservative bill granting cabinet the power to borrow money without pre-approval from Parliament. Critics have tried and failed to repeal the bill four times in the past six years: “They don’t like the idea of having to face the people”.

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White Man Equity Claim Fails

An “able-bodied white man” has lost a human rights complaint against the Canada Revenue Agency. The employee cited data that hiring practices in his tax office left Caucasian males outnumbered 9 to 1: ‘This is not to say he does not raise a policy issue’.

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Internet Tops Privacy Claim

A federal agency has won the right to publicly release information already available on the internet. Oil giant Husky unsuccessfully sued the Canada-Newfoundland & Labrador Offshore Petroleum Board to conceal the names of executives listed on Zoominfo: “The law is clear”.

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A Sunday Poem — “Leaders”

 

They all have a vision for our

future:

The Prime Minister

wants to legalize pot;

the Ontario Premier

wants to sell us more booze;

and the Ottawa mayor

wants a casino downtown.

 

Meet the new Joe Canadian:

stoned,

hammered,

sinking his sagging Loonie

down the slot machine.

 

Must be smiling.

 

(Editor’s note: poet Shai Ben-Shalom, an Israeli-born biologist, examines current events in the Blacklock’s tradition each and every Sunday)

Feds Pressed To Repeal More Conservative-Era Labour Bills

Cabinet must repeal more Conservative labour bills after moving to kill two measures on certification and finances, says Unifor president Jerry Dias. Several laws remain on the books, including curbs on public employees’ right to strike: “It’s not good enough to revert back to the pre-Harper days”.

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Curb Railroading On Sunday

All railways would be forbidden from weekend shunting of freight cars or idling locomotives in urban neighbourhoods under a private bill introduced in the Commons. Noise complaints are currently subject to lengthy appeals at the Canadian Transportation Agency: “We’re going to do whatever the hell we want”.

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