Feds Target Party Balloons

The Department of Environment in an educational program for schoolchildren recommends kids avoid party balloons as pollutants. Cabinet proposes to list plastic as toxic under the Canadian Environmental Protection Act: “You are never too young or too old to start taking climate action.”

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Say Gov’t Panel Is Too White

An all-white, female RCMP civilian board says cabinet should appoint an Indigenous member and “consider” appointing a Black person in the aftermath of Black Lives Matters protests. The Civilian Review and Complaints Commission made its recommendation to the Commons public safety committee: “The only way the public complaint process works is if people trust the system.”

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Want Votes And Free Speech

Immigrants are more likely to apply for citizenship to vote rather than to seek a Canadian passport, says in-house research by the Department of Citizenship. Foreigners said they prized the country’s freedom of speech: ‘It was for my children.’

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Payette Appeals For Sacrifice

Governor General Julie Payette yesterday in a YouTube address to the nation appealed to Canadians to follow her example of self-sacrifice and “stay home except for necessities and essential work.” Payette made no mention of a cross-country, business class flight by her secretary last August: “I appeal to your sense of duty.”

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Polled On Taking Guns From Police; 65 Percent Approved

The Privy Council Office at the height of Black Lives Matter protests confidentially polled Canadians on whether to take guns from police. Research was conducted after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau knelt at a demonstration on Parliament Hill: “The Privy Council Office wanted to assess the perceptions of Canadians on government priorities.”

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Brother’s Contract Defended

The Department of Agriculture yesterday defended a sole-sourced training contract to a company led by a former cabinet minister’s brother. Staff said they hired Victor Tootoo’s firm after Googling websites of his competitors: ‘It appeared to be a good fit.’

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Won’t Release Trudeau Files

The national archives refuse to declassify cabinet records from Pierre Trudeau’s last tumultuous term as prime minister though secret files were to be unsealed years ago. The agency gave no reason: “They are first evaluated against privacy considerations.”

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Okayed Fed Loan At Smitty’s

The federal Business Development Bank approved a $100,000 taxpayer-backed loan to a delinquent borrower in a twenty-minute breakfast meeting at a Smitty’s Restaurant, according to court records. The loan was approved so quickly a Bank officer did not print paper copies of the contract: “The transaction appears to have been done hastily.”

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No Role In Boyfriend’s $42K

Economic Development Minister Mélanie Joly yesterday said she played no role in the awarding of more than $42,000 in federal funds to her boyfriend’s company. Joly in a statement through her press secretary did not explain if she received any dividends or share of profits from the firm: “She has recused herself.”

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Airlines Face $25K Penalties

Cabinet yesterday threatened airlines with $25,000 fines for allowing anyone, including citizens, to return to Canada without proof they are Covid-free. Even air passengers who’ve been vaccinated cannot enter the country without a negative test, said Transport Minister Marc Garneau: “Our country must continue to function.”

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Minister Escapes Disapproval

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau yesterday said he was disappointed in politicians who ignore bans on non-essential travel, but stopped short of censuring his own health minister. Patricia Hajdu repeatedly jetted home for weekends in Thunder Bay after advising the public to limit their travel to buying groceries: “We are all in this together.”

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Launch Refit Program By July

The Department of Natural Resources yesterday said it will take homeowners’ applications by July 1 under a multi-billion dollar national refit program. A similar program was cancelled in 2012 over costs: “The program will last for a period of six years.”

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