Takes A Year To Answer Mail

Workers filing complaints of Canada Labour Code violations should expect to wait up to a year to receive a confirmation letter, says a labour department briefing binder. The department acknowledged it introduced dozens of new regulations without hiring enough inspectors to ensure adequate investigation: ‘It will take approximately 11 months.”

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Say Leases Are Gang Target

Auto leasing companies are targets of money launderers, says the Department of Finance. Regulators effective April 1 ordered leasing companies to track all customers in transactions over $100,000: “This closes a regulatory loophole that can be exploited by criminals.”

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Would Tax All Capital Gains

The Communist Party today launches its election campaign with a proposal to tax 100 percent of capital gains. Election of even a single Communist could stem the tide of capitalism, the Party said: “Communists have been elected to Parliament in past years.”

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NSF Fees Now Capped At $10

Cabinet yesterday capped non-sufficient funds charges at $10 effective immediately. NSF fees are so lucrative the Department of Finance cautioned depositors to expect their bank to hike other service fees to make up for lost millions: “Due to a loss in NSF fee revenue, banks may raise fees in other areas.”

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Carney Forgot “Sedition” Jibe

Prime Minister Mark Carney yesterday declined comment on his past claim the 2022 Freedom Convoy was seditious. RCMP at the time ridiculed Carney for appearing to cut and past a definition from an American dictionary into a Globe & Mail column claiming peaceful protestors committed “sedition in Ottawa.”

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Would Aid Working Seniors

Any future Conservative cabinet will amend the Income Tax Act to reduce clawbacks on seniors who remain in the workforce by choice or necessity, Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre said yesterday. The proposal follows a similar 2023 Commons committee recommendation endorsed by the Liberal cabinet but never enacted: “Workers who are over 65 bring lots of wisdom and insight.”

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Wealth Transfer Is Historic

Canadians are about to witness one of the biggest wealth transfers in history, Statistics Canada said yesterday. Gifts and inheritances from homeowners to their children will create a “looming wave of interfamilial wealth transfer,” wrote analysts.

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Nominee Had Rent Troubles

The Green Party yesterday would not comment on a Montréal-area candidate threatened with three eviction notices in three years for skipping the rent. The Party has acclaimed colourful candidates in the past: “We want to run a full slate.”

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Calls Carney A Bad Landlord

New Democrat leader Jagmeet Singh yesterday depicted the Prime Minister as a corporate rent gouger who profited from the housing crisis as chair of Brookfield Asset Management. “He personally profited,” Singh told reporters after speaking with Brookfield tenants: “Why would average Canadians trust him to fight the housing crisis?”

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Never Told Of Liberal Checks

Prime Minister Mark Carney yesterday said he did not know why three-term MP Chandra Arya (Nepean, Ont.) was stripped of his nomination and disqualified as a Liberal leadership candidate. “We take this incredibly seriously,” said Carney, who took the Nepean nomination as his own in the April 28 general election: “Certain information came to light.”

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Proposes GST-Free Housing

Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre yesterday proposed repeal of the GST on most new homes in Canada, all residences under $1.3 million. The maximum $65,000 tax break would be financed through elimination of current programs like the Housing Accelerator Fund deemed ineffective, he said: “Ten years ago a million dollars would have got you a castle on a mountain.”

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Dep’t Denies Duty Of Care

A judge has dismissed a liability claim by the family of an Ontario high schooler who died weeks after taking a Covid shot. The Department of Health had no “duty of care” to individual Canadians inadvertently harmed by pandemic measures, said the Court: “A possible side effect of receiving a Covid-19 vaccine was death.”

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Migrant Cases Clog Courts

An 80 percent increase in immigration rulings is clogging the docket in Federal Courts, records show. Administrators said “rising caseloads particularly in immigration matters” have slowed hearings for other plaintiffs seeking justice: “Ensuring Canadians have access to modern, safe and accessible Court facilities is integral to democracy.”

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56% Oppose Border Benefits

A majority of Canadians say illegal immigrants and refugee claimants receive too many federal benefits, according to internal research by the Canadian Museum for Human Rights. The findings followed in-house polling at the Department of Immigration that documented a collapse in support for high immigration quotas: “More research is needed to understand the roots of this trend.”

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Fed Banker Is Frequent Flyer

A deputy managing director of the Bank of Canada, Lori Rennison, yesterday had no comment after spending more than a quarter million on travel including business class flights from Brasilia to Marrakech. Rennison booked dozens of trips at the same time cabinet claimed to cut unnecessary travel: ‘It’s really important to be a fiscally responsible government.’

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