Laziness Is No Firing Offence

Laziness is not a firing offence, a federal labour board has ruled. The decision came in the case of a prison guard who performed night shift duties while relaxing on a mattress: “She had a lax, nonchalant attitude toward a very serious situation.”

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Guilbeault Polled For Slogans

Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault’s department spent more than $79,000 polling Canadians on whether they preferred the phrase “climate change,” “extreme weather” or “climate crisis.” Results were inconclusive: “Duh, of course the climate changes.”

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“Those People” Are To Blame

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau yesterday blamed unnamed critics he identified only as “those people” for discrediting the taxpayer-subsidized Trudeau Foundation. The group’s CEO and board of directors abruptly resigned weeks after admitting to accepting a $200,000 donation from China: “It is a shame to see the level of toxicity and political polarization that is going on in our country these days.”

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Claim Slavery Impacts Wages

Black men in Canada typically earn less today because “Black people were seen as a source of cheap labour” in the 18th century, says a Department of Justice report. The claim contradicts Statistics Canada data showing most Black families in Canada immigrated here after 1971: “However their slavery and exploitation were part of Canadian society for over 200 years.”

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Will Pay Ukraine To The End

Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland yesterday pledged ongoing subsidies to Ukraine until it “wins the war.” Cabinet re-announced additional loans and grants detailed in Freeland’s March 28 budget that bring total taxpayer aid to $8 billion and counting: “We will be there until Ukraine wins the war.”

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Grant Is Four Times The Cost

Cabinet budgeted dental care grants for children at more than quadruple the typical cost, according to Canadian Dental Association figures. Grants were a maximum $650: “Overall 96 percent of all claims submitted for children under age 12 were for less than $650.”

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Don’t See Better Days Til 2025

Canadians expect to suffer from food inflation and high interest rates for years to come, say federal data. “There was a sense of pessimism about the future of the economy” well into 2025, said a Department of Finance report: “There was a mentality of having to ‘ride it out,’ of things getting worse before they get better.”

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Want More Oil, Gas Workers

Canada is short thousands of oil and gas workers, Labour Minister Seamus O’Regan says in a report to Parliament. The industry payroll must grow by at least 13 percent, he said: “How many more workers does the government estimate are needed in the oil and gas industry?”

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Agency Rates Itself Mediocre

The Canada Revenue Agency despite millions in upgrades to call centres says taxpayers still have only a 50-50 chance of speaking to a live agent within 15 minutes. Cabinet in 2018 budgeted $206 million in five-year funding on a promise of “fewer delays and more timely and responsive services.”

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Ukraine Loan Support Fading

Taxpayers are sharply divided over ongoing financial aid for Ukraine, according to internal research by the Department of Finance. Canadians were more likely to oppose than support additional loans, subsidies and credits: “Support for Ukraine has helped the government continue to operate in the face of Russia’s illegal invasion.”

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Upholds Volunteers’ Privacy

Canadians’ right to privacy includes firefighters on emergency calls, a Privacy Commissioner has ruled. The decision came in the case of a request for photos of volunteer firefighters on the job in Pouch Cove, Newfoundland and Labrador: “Pictures taken while fighting a fire show expressions and actions in a dangerous situation.”

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Sunwing Owes Public $317M

Sunwing Airlines owes taxpayers almost a third of a billion, according to Department of Transport records. Repayment over five years was a condition of cabinet’s approval of a takeover of Sunwing by WestJet Airlines: ‘There was a significant risk Sunwing would not be able to repay the loans.’

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Can’t Find Happy Customers

Canadians in internal Privy Council polling share universal disapproval of internet service providers, documents show. Cabinet commissioned the research prior to approving the largest merger yet in telecom, the $26 billion takeover of Shaw Communications by Rogers: “All felt the Government of Canada should be doing more.”

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Blunder Had Agency Rushing

The Public Health Agency in an internal audit confirms from the outbreak of the pandemic it rushed to lease three private medical supply warehouses after closing three of its own depots the year before. Emergency leasing costs were not disclosed: “Too late.”

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Parks Cops See Few Crimes

Law enforcement by Parks Canada wardens consists mainly of illegal fishing and breaches of campground rules, says an internal report. The agency could not explain why it sought extraordinary new policing powers under a bill currently before Parliament: “Going through law school I was always told the devil is in the details.”

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