“I Have Had My Moment…”

The federal Conservative Party today seeks a new leader for the fourth time in seven years following the ouster of MP Erin O’Toole (Durham, Ont.) in a 73-45 caucus vote. “I have had my moment,” said O’Toole: “Canada is in a dire moment of our history.”

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Internet Control Bill Is Back

Cabinet yesterday reintroduced a bill to federally regulate internet videos like TV broadcasts. Heritage Minister Pablo Rodriguez said exemptions would protect individuals’ YouTube video uploads from federal censors: “It’s true we did try to get a similar bill last year.”

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Feds Suspend 1,084 Workers

Transport Minister Omar Alghabra’s department has suspended dozens of employees without pay for declining to disclose their vaccination status. The transport workers are among more than a thousand federal employees denied pay or benefits under a vaccine mandate: “Follow the science.”

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Spent $123K To Conceal Files

Attorney General David Lametti spent nearly $123,000 in a legal bid to conceal records on the firing of Chinese scientists at a federal lab. The legal expenses included payments to unnamed third party lawyers: “Solicitor-client privilege is waived and only to the extent of revealing the total legal costs.”

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Smuggling By Rail Foolproof

Cross-border rail cars enter Canada with virtually no checks for smuggled guns or other contraband, the Commons public safety committee was told yesterday. The Customs and Immigration Union said there was “almost a zero percent chance” of bootleg cargo being detected: “Canada has almost zero examination capabilities directly at the border.”

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Refit Is Late And Over Budget

Canada’s costliest renovation project will be late and over budget, Department of Public Works figures show. Parliament’s iconic Centre Block closed January 28, 2019 for a promised ten-year refit at $3.04 billion. Construction has now expanded to 12 years at up to $5 billion: “Am I missing something?”

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Killed Vax Tax Amid Protests

Québec Premier François Legault yesterday dropped plans to introduce the nation’s first pandemic tax amid ongoing truckers’ protests against vaccine mandates. The concession came as Freedom Convoy blockaders planned a demonstration at the Québec legislature: “They want to be heard.”

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205,000 Ballots Not Counted

More than 200,000 mail-in ballots sent to voters in the last federal election were not counted, Elections Canada disclosed yesterday.  The number of ballot kits that were late, cancelled or marked as lost in the mail was greater than the margin of victory: “We are deeply sorry.”

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Feds Falsely Accuse Truckers

The Canada Revenue Agency falsely accused Freedom Convoy protesters of ransacking office buildings. The Agency yesterday would not comment after spreading fake news that angry truck drivers had run amok in downtown Ottawa. The report was among several that falsely claimed protests had turned violent: “The biggest challenges facing our future will be the restoration of public confidence in institutions such as the media and government.”

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PM To Truckers: Go Home

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau yesterday said Freedom Convoy protesters must go home after days of demonstrations at Parliament Hill. Trudeau made the comment after describing truckers as “tin foil hats” deserving of public disgust: “What is needed is for people to go home.”

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Tam Dodges Ethics Questions

Canada’s chief public health officer is refusing to appear for questioning at the Commons ethics committee. MPs had asked Dr. Theresa Tam to explain a data scoop that saw the Public Health Agency collect information on 33 million cellphone users: “That’s not a small thing.”

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More Waivers To Fuel Regs

Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault’s department confirms more exemptions from renewable fuel regulations that would hike the price of gasoline and diesel. Exemptions were meant to “address affordability concerns,” said a briefing note: “The Clean Fuel Standard has been narrowed.”

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