New regulations on U.S.-bound drivers were so confusing Canada Border Services Agency managers were struggling to grasp the rules only hours before curbs took effect at 12:01 am Saturday. Customs officers cited “wild” lineups amid Covid-19 traffic restrictions: “Officers are frustrated and concerned.”
Telus Communications Inc. in a notice to customers said it was “doing our part to keep Canadians healthy” by suspending all paper billing. The notice came only days after federal regulators allowed a Telus subsidiary to end paper invoices amid consumer protests: “This looks like an excuse in bad taste.”
Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation effective tomorrow will insure cheaper thirty-year mortgages for the first time since 2006. Cabinet called it a temporary measure prompted by the Covid-19 pandemic: “The government will do whatever it takes.”
Select employers are allowed to continue hiring migrant labour providing they quarantine workers on arrival here, says the Department of Employment. Migrants working for farmers and seafood processors were granted exemptions from a general travel ban on foreigners: “We can avoid a mass outbreak?”
If you visit the university campus,
you can spot a chemistry student
in the men’s washroom.
He is the one
washing his hands
before using the facility.
If you visit Parliament,
you can spot a cabinet member
in the House of Commons.
He is the one
washing his hands
while standing up,
answering a question.
(Editor’s note: poet Shai Ben-Shalom, an Israeli-born biologist, examines current events in the Blacklock’s tradition each and every Sunday)
Parliament is pocketing a $2.5 million pay hike amid the Covid-19 pandemic and recession fears. The April 1 bonus takes effect without debate under terms of a bill one former MP called “indecent”.
Cabinet is continuing to budget millions for pre-pandemic programs including tourism promotions for tourists who can’t enter the country. Health Minister Patricia Hajdu yesterday called Covid-19 a “global scourge that weirdly enough money is not the only answer to.”
Cabinet yesterday said it was still drafting final wording of a sweeping regulation to restrict Canadians from crossing the U.S. border effective tonight. A Public Health Agency officer said the measure will not curb the spread of the Covid-19 virus: “Do they have to be pulling a tractor-trailer to get across?”
Transport Canada says it is still weighing aid for industry after the Canadian Airports Council put its losses at $1.3 billion this year. Transport Minister Marc Garneau acknowledged air travel faces a “precipitous” collapse in revenue.
A high-rolling businessman who bought an $89,000 Tesla rather than remit sales and payroll taxes has been jailed for twenty-one months. “While he is not the worst offender, he comes quite close,” ruled a justice of the peace in Ontario Provincial Court.
Cabinet yesterday said it will close the Canada-U.S. border to non-essential traffic but would not define “essential”, say when the order takes effect, or put the regulation in writing. The Opposition expressed exasperation with the vague decree only days after federal officials dismissed border closures as pointless: “They need to be concise and clear.”
The CBC yesterday cancelled all flagship local suppertime TV newscasts for the first time since 1952. Executives blamed the Covid-19 pandemic, though the local television news blackout follows years of disastrous ratings and falling ad revenue: “Extraordinary times require extraordinary measures.”
Cabinet yesterday proposed to spend billions to ward off a recession but cautioned the course of the Covid-19 pandemic is uncertain. “It’s important we tell Canadians what we know and what we don’t know,” said Finance Minister Bill Morneau. “We can’t know the full impact or the duration of the challenge we’re facing.”
Canadians should brace for multiple waves of Covid-19 infections that could continue for months, the Chief Public Health Officer said yesterday. Dr. Theresa Tam earlier signed a Canadian Pandemic Influenza Plan that forecast as many as 58,000 Canadians could die from a virus without a vaccine like Covid-19: “This virus is going to be with us for some time.”
Federal agencies have approved billions in emergency aid to corporations to stem a Covid-19 recession. Bank of Canada Governor Stephen Poloz, asked how much the agency was prepared to spend, replied: “According to need, okay?”
