Parks Hunt Big Oil Sponsors

Oil and chemical corporations will be asked to sponsor facilities at national parks, secret documents show. Parks Canada staff propose to sell naming rights, but privately warned of public protest: “Alberta’s oil patch is ready to take off again; it is probably great timing to get our national park-corporate partnering ducks in a row!”

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Senate To Investigate Bitcoin

The Senate banking committee will investigate Bitcoin, the pseudo-currency swapped by speculators on internet exchanges. Senators expressed bafflement over the fad and cautioned Bank of Canada regulations may be needed: “We find Bitcoin perplexing”.

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Seal Hunt Photo Ban OK’d

All parties but the Greens are endorsing a bill to restrict media and activists from within nearly two kilometres of Canada’s Atlantic seal hunt. The legislation follows much-photographed protests by Paul McCartney and Brigitte Bardot.

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A-a-n-d Fade To Black

A quarter of Canadians now watch Netflix, say regulators. The CRTC said the number of internet TV subscribers has more than doubled in two years; and barely 3000 Canadians bothered to participate in a national consultation on the future of traditional TV programming: “Change is upon us”.

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Feds Warn On Fare Rule

The Canadian Transportation Agency has cited another European carrier for flouting fare disclosure rules. Brussels Airlines must comply with regulations by March 31. More than $190,000 in federal fines have been issued to date: “The agency deals with penalties on a case-by-case basis”.

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‘I don’t recall it being brought to my attention…’

An executive whose firm was implicated in a $15 million tax-avoidance scheme was reappointed to a federal post on the advice of CMHC, says the minister. Jason Kenney said he was unaware of a Tax Court lawsuit involving the appointee’s firm: “You’ll have to let me look into this particular case”.

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The Unmentionable Statistic

Statistics Canada is being pressed to rework its jobless rate to include rarely-reported figures that more broadly capture the state of the workplace. Analysts say the agency’s flagship unemployment number does not depict actual conditions: “It is a problem”.

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MPs Ponder Banks’ Promise

Credit card issuers are being pressed on claims they’ve reneged on promises to protect customers from fraud. Finance Minister Jim Flaherty said he’d raise the issue in meetings with bank executives: ‘This goes against everything they have been telling us’.

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Senators Get Counselling For ‘Burnout’, ‘Anxiety’

Parliament is hiring trained counselors to help Senators and staff cope with “burnout” and other stress. Authorities confirmed 12% of people on the Senate payroll used the service last year. Legislators contacted by Blacklock’s said they had never heard of the program: “If you can’t stand the heat — “

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Feds Wrongly Fire Russian

A federal judge has cited Canada’s money laundering watchdog for improperly firing a Russian-born employee branded a security risk. The Financial Transactions and Reports Analysis Centre denied the woman Top Secret clearance after she spoke of seeing acquaintances at the Russian Embassy in Ottawa.

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Nation Sees Ketchup Deficit

Canadians’ love of salsa is weighing heavily on a national trade gap in processed foods. The Canadian Agri-Food Policy Institute said growing popularity of imported salsa over Canadian-made ketchup has left a widening condiment deficit: “We don’t have all the answers”.

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