107-pg Specs On New Mittens

The defence department, cited for inept contracting, has issued 107 pages of specifications for new mittens. The department cautioned that palms and thumbs of government-issue mitts “must be flush”, as well as “soft” and “smooth”. Authorities earlier issued 167-pages of specs for mukluks for the troops: “A colour match under north-sky daylight is most important”.

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