Save Laurier, Pleads Senator

Canadians must rally to save Wilfrid Laurier from being erased from the five-dollar bill, a Québec senator last night told the Chamber. The Bank of Canada is to remove Laurier’s portrait in 2023: “It’s as if the government is shunting aside francophones.”

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Lost Seat At U.N. Cost $2.4M

Cabinet spent $2,446,026 in its four-year campaign for a seat on the United Nations Security Council, records show. It was the equivalent of nearly $23,000 for every vote Canada received in its failed bid: “There can be an unhealthy quest to get a Security Council seat at any expense.”

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Exempt Themselves From Act

Cabinet yesterday introduced a bill banning third-party use of personal information without consent under threat of steep fines. Federal agencies are exempt, though in-house research shows Canadians are wary of government data collection: “Most Canadians, 81%, are at least somewhat concerned about government.”

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Baylis? Never Heard Of Him

Public Works Minister Anita Anand last night denied favouritism in awarding a $237,300,200 contract to buy ventilators from ex-Liberal MP Frank Baylis’ company, Baylis Medical. “I have no idea who Frank Baylis is,” the Minister told the Commons government operations committee: “I couldn’t pick him out of a crowd.”

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MPs Demand Trudeaus’ Fees

The Commons ethics committee yesterday by a 6-5 vote ordered the Trudeau family’s talent agent to surrender twelve years of records detailing corporate sponsorship fees paid to the Prime Minister and his wife. Liberal MPs had filibustered against disclosure since July 22, and hinted at a legal challenge: “It is unfortunate.”

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Never Tracked China Agents

The Department of Immigration last night said it does not track agents of the Communist Party of China posing as students, tourists and workers in Canada. The department said only a criminal conviction would prompt a review of any visitor’s visa: “It doesn’t seem to be working.”

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Gave Army Expired Goods

Federal agencies were so short of pandemic supplies the army was issued date-expired personal protective equipment, the Commons defence committee learned yesterday. A total fifty-five military contracted Covid-19: “They had nothing other than what they could get their hands on from maybe Home Depot.”

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Still Not Sure Of CERB Fraud

The Canada Revenue Agency will not know the full scope of fraudulent Covid relief claims until applicants file their 2020 tax returns, says Assistant Commissioner Ted Gallivan. One federal estimate said ineligible claims for $2,000 Canada Emergency Response Benefit cheques totaled nearly half a billion: “The fact we don’t have a global figure doesn’t mean we aren’t working very hard.”

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Ruled Against Christian Ring

Christian engagement rings are not a religious symbol even if blessed by a priest, a federal labour adjudicator has ruled. The decision came in the case of a Catholic mail clerk who claimed discrimination after being ordered to remove her ring at a Canada Post sorting plant though Sikh coworkers were allowed to wear silver bangles called karas: “My conscience has led me to be steadfast.”

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Parliament Refits Up $153M

The budget for ongoing renovations to Parliament Hill buildings increased another $152.9 million last year, according to records. The Department of Public Works has yet to fix a final budget for the multi-billion dollar refit, the costliest in Canadian history: “I find it kind of bizarre.”

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Try Again On French Fines

Federal agencies that fail to speak French should have to pay cash fines, says Language Commissioner Raymond Théberge. Cabinet has repeatedly rejected the proposal to levy penalties under the 1969 Official Languages Act: “I know it sounds odd to talk about linguistic police.”

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A Poem: “After Hours”

 

I wonder if Cabinet members

and opposition leaders

get together in a local pub

at the end of Question Period

to celebrate another successful day

at the workplace.

 

Their daily show

perfectly delivered;

audience is kept excited,

engaged,

satisfied.

 

I deserve to know;

I am the one paying for it.

 

(Editor’s note: poet Shai Ben-Shalom, an Israeli-born biologist, examines current events in Blacklock’s tradition each and every Sunday)

UN Study Blames ‘Tar Sands’

A UN committee report says Alberta “tar sands” have poisoned the environment, and questioned whether companies were implicated in human rights abuses. The report described oil sands mining as “disturbing”, “alarming” and “troubling”: “Reports were received that Indigenous women have gone missing after alleging health impacts from oil sands operations.”

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