Claim A Five-Minute Savings

Mandatory use of the $54 million ArriveCan app saved travelers “about five minutes” at border crossings, says a Public Health Agency report. The claim contradicts Customs union complaints that lineups were so long travelers urinated themselves while waiting to clear border crossings: “There is obviously something fishy going on.”

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CBC Faked Fed Equity Claim

The CBC, self-described “industry leader” in equity hiring, has a less diverse workforce than the Department of Agriculture, according to Access To Information records. Managers disclosed most CBC employees are white, English-speaking men: “We believe in celebrating human differences.”

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Street Address Is Gov’t Secret

Shared Services Canada, the federal IT department, will not tell MPs the address of its building due to national security concerns, it said. Publicly available records show its main office is above a Tim Hortons restaurant at 90 Metcalfe Street in Ottawa with data servers nearby: “Perhaps the Russians or the Communist Party of China could find your offices through Google.”

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Fed Loans Were Risky: Report

Borrowers under a costly federal Covid business loan program were typically small and heavily indebted, says a Department of Industry report. Losses under the Canada Emergency Business Account are estimated in the billions: “We’ve had your back.”

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Cheques Make A Comeback

Paper cheques have made a comeback as retailers try to avoid high transaction fees on credit cards, says the Bank of Canada. The Department of Finance has for years threatened to regulate card fees though no legislation has been introduced to date: “Who do we work for?”

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25 Votes For Web Regulation

Twenty-five New Democrat MPs will pressure cabinet for legislation this year to regulate legal internet content, Party leader Jagmeet Singh said yesterday. Regulations should include censoring “misinformation,” he said: “It has to be the government.”

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Fed Offices Sitting 70% Empty

Vacancy rates in federal offices run as high as 70 percent or more under a pandemic work-from-home policy for employees, records show. Cabinet quietly dropped claims it could save billions by selling empty buildings: “We are reimagining our workplace.”

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Tax Filers Not All The Same

Men are more likely to file their taxes using off the shelf software while women tax filers worry about making mistakes, data show. Canada Revenue Agency researchers quizzed taxpayers nationwide to spot differences between the sexes: “A number of concerns are present.”

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8 Percent Get Rights Hearing

Fewer than a tenth of complaints to the Canadian Human Rights Commission alleging anti-Muslim discrimination are ever referred to a full hearing, records show. The Commission said it had “limited” resources in its $42.2 million annual budget: “The Commission understands.”

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Antibiotics Are Triple The EU

Canadian farms use three times the amount of antibiotics in poultry, pigs and cattle than the European Union, says the Public Health Agency. New figures point to increased risk of antimicrobial resistance in humans, said an Agency report: “14,000 Canadian deaths were associated with antimicrobial resistance.”

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Ambassador Drops Pot Deal

Bob Rae, Canada’s ambassador to the United Nations, has sold his financial interest in marijuana amid a sharp downturn in the sector. Nationwide a total 24 cannabis retailers, wholesalers and distributors filed for bankruptcy protection last year: “I no longer have an interest.”

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Polar Bears Plentiful: Science

Polar bears are so plentiful they have become a nuisance, says a Department of Environment report. New data contradict repeated claims by then-Environment Minister Catherine McKenna and others that bears were victims of climate change: “Inuit are concerned about this increasing number.”

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Lockdowns Met Climate Goal

The Department of Environment yesterday claimed “real progress” in hitting climate change targets. The most recent data confirmed 2020 emissions fell nine percent mainly due to pandemic lockdowns and travel bans: “This report shows the real progress Canada is making.”

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Just Gets Worse For VIA Rail

Taxpayer-owned VIA Rail will see continued steep losses for at least another two years despite layoffs and service cuts. The railway in an updated Corporate Plan predicted this year’s operating deficit will run to $411 million: “There remains an important risk.”

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