Sunday Poem: “Crystal Ball”

 

In the year 2056,

Chapters will announce

a major expansion

to its gift section,

boosting the display of

decorative pillows, scented candles, and

specialty teas.

Books may still be found

on the remaining shelf

near the emergency exit.

 

Gillette will introduce its new

– and revolutionary –

17-blade razor,

in stores

just in time for Father’s Day.

You wouldn’t believe

the smooth, close shave it delivers.

Nothing like its predecessor, the

16-blade model.

 

And in the House of Commons,

the Minister of Public Services and Procurement

will announce

that the remaining 6,000 pay issues

will be resolved

by Christmas.

 

(Editor’s note: poet Shai Ben-Shalom, an Israeli-born biologist, examines current events in the Blacklock’s tradition each and every Sunday)

Canada Pension Bill Okayed

The Senate has passed into law a bill raising Canada Pension Plan premiums and benefits. Senators yesterday approved the bill by a vote of 52 to 30 on a critic’s warning it will damage small business: ‘One percent means the difference of whether they stay open or close their doors.’

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Mag Ad Revenues Down 33%

Magazine ad revenues in Canada have fallen 33 percent in two years, says new Statistics Canada data. Total declines in circulation came despite millions in taxpayers’ grants to publishers. The new figures follow an Access To Information report questioning the future of print publishing: “Can the print magazine survive?”

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Anthem Act Faces Final Vote

A bill to rewrite O Canada with gender-neutral lyrics faces a final, divisive vote in Parliament in 2017. The Senate social affairs committee yesterday approved the bill for Third Reading following conflicting testimony: “It has to do with the soul of the country.”

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Gov’t To Review Carbon Tax Impact: “We Find Solutions”

Cabinet will conduct a “competitiveness review” of its national carbon tax, says Environment Minister Catherine McKenna. The Minister yesterday faced questioning from skeptical senators seeking details on the impact of a $50 per tonne tax on emissions: “You’re only starting the process.”

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5 Year Delay On Food Labels

Health Canada is giving the $88 billion-a year food industry five years to revise “confusing” food labels. Regulations would urge Canadians to cut daily sugar consumption by 30 percent: “This is purely a strategy on the part of industry to try and influence a delay as long as possible.”

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Drug-Impaired Charges Rise

The incidence of drug-impaired driving increased 4 percent nationwide last year though rates of drunk driving continue to decline, says new Statistics Canada data. The research points to looming trouble over cabinet’s plan to legalize marijuana, said a senior senator: “Can you imagine the increase in health care costs?”

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Protest Over Rabbit Test Regs

The Senate sponsor of a bill against animal cruelty is protesting “abhorrent” new federal regulations involving testing on lab rabbits. Health Canada in a rare notice detailed the best methods of testing chemicals on rabbits’ eyes and skin: “It makes me really sad.”

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MPs Urge Post Office Reforms

Canada Post should expand services and merge its pension plan into a government-wide program to save management the $100 million-a month cost of special solvency payments, says a Commons report. MPs faulted the Crown corporation for years of cutbacks: “We think more could be done.”

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No Fault For Flight Changes

Air travelers inconvenienced by flight changes have no claim to special compensation, the Canadian Transportation Agency has ruled. The decision makes the case for a federal passenger bill of rights, said an MP: “You can book a flight but the airlines don’t really have any obligation to provide it.”

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Panel Sees Trouble In Pot Act

Cabinet needs more money for policing and further research on workplace safety if it legalizes marijuana, says a federal panel. Officials yesterday said a 2017 deadline for new legislation is firm: “How are they going to determine what is a reasonable amount to consume?”

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